My Intentions Poem by Tina MacAdam

Here is a little something I wrote while sitting here crying. This is something that I do not mind if you share with anyone else. This is the last thing that will happen to me or affect me in any way. I am done. Thank you for being there when I needed an ear. thank you for being there when I didnt have anyone else. Thank you for never judging me and for always being honest. I hope you have someone as good as you to do the same in your times of need.









My Intentions are not to place blame, for blame can be brought on to yourself as easily as passed on to someone else. My intention is not to point fingers as no one is ever completely innocent...My intention is to find a reason for the unclear ideas created by ones hurt and anger and emotions. I do not expect nor am seeking sympathy. I do not look for forgiveness as I am unable to forgive myself. I am looking for an unbiased opinion, one who will not pick sides. Be it right or wrong. I am looking for a comforting feeling to stop the pain and anger I hold within myself. I do not want to send out the wrong idea on the situations I have found myself in as of late. I want to send out that I am solely responsible for those such situations. I want to not claim to be a victom of any crime against myself or towards what i believe in, But to be able to stand up and say no because it goes against those things. I want to be able to say that I do not need someone to hold and comfort me but yet be able to accept the embrace of someone who is willing to accept and look past things that are present. I want to say that no matter what I am in control. I want to say that I am strong. To say that I know inside that this will fade away. That I can control the consuming feelings others have placed upon me. I want to know that someone is standing behind me even if unable to stop and help at my moment of need but to be able to help me onto my feet should I fall. I need to know that the comforting words are coming from the heart and not a pre programmed response so many give. I want to know that the pain I feel inside is only because I am alive and not because I dont want to be. I need you to know I am sorry. I need you to know that I did not mean for situations to arise as such. I need you to know that in my heart I still have a spot that isnt filled with anger and hatred. That I will never forget even though I do not want to remember. I will not dwell on things that do not need to be dwelled upon, but will find a new view of things from the final outcome. I will not look at you with hate and anger, but will not be able to with understanding or any sense of forgiveness. I want the tears that flow from my eyes to be from a sense of relief and not from confusion and sadness. My intentions are not to place blame. On anyone but myself.