My Chains.. Poem by Irfan Habeeb

Don't mistake my mask for my face
When I smile, when I laugh, when I look positive
It's just a fleeting moment when I forget my chains
My chains? Yes, they're heavy, they're tight, they're mine..

You think I'm free, light, easy
Or you think my chains are lighter and don't match for yours
But chains are not a measure, they're not a scale
They're a burden that drags, a trap that binds, a cage that locks..

Nobody frees me, nobody breaks me
Many just watch, many just ignore me
The biggest sorrow is nobody frees
And nobody is there for me to say it's okay..

Nobody is there to release me, to lift me, to love me
I was just in need of a key, a good key from my good ones
But nobody would free me, nobody would care
And there are people in my life that I couldn't even let them know my chains..

What are my chains? They will ask, they will laugh, they will deny
They will make my chains a toy, they will make my chains meaningless
I don't want that to happen, I don't want to be hurt again
So I will hide them, all my life, all my soul..

Even my dearest of dearest doesn't know my chains
Nobody would free me, nobody would accept me
I don't want to be with any people anymore, I just want to be alone
All the time, all the space, all the silence..

I just want to be silent, I just want to be a stone
That doesn't do anything and doesn't hear anyone
I just want to be a bird that sings alone, cry alone in the dark forest
I just want to be a river that flows without a stop, not minding anyone..

Because nobody cares, nobody frees me
I wish there was someone who's like me, my clone
Who frees me, who accepts me
Who can hug me and say it's okay..