Murmurs Poem by Anney Rajan

I took care not to worry you often, Dear Dad
I heard I was a pain when I was born
My virginity was a burden, your anxieties said
I managed my adolescence well, never had I strayed
You slogged day and night to save for my marriage
I worked hard and saved for my dowry
When you set aside most of your wealth for brother
I kept you with me - the asset I cannot loose forever

You played with toy cars and warriors I’m forbidden to take
I arranged them when you carried my dolls
Dear Brother, you never considered playing with me
I shrugged to books to say you stories at nights
You stayed longer with your ‘gang’ as you grew up
I found time every day to listen to your chit chat
You complained my conduct and considered me stranger
As I fought with you to protect you from danger

Dear my Beloved, didn’t I tell, you fascinated me?
You loved me when I looked good for you (for you alone)
I surrender to you the day when I am weaken by your caring
You said I reminded you your childhood sweet heart
I brought your favorite sweet and wore the dress of your choice
You forgot to wish a ‘Happy Birthday’ and went out for a lunch
You called me every time you broke up with a girl friend
I calmed your nerves and waited for you to settle down
I proposed you as it was time for my marriage
You said you cannot go against your parent’s wish
I moved away not to disturb you again
You missed me while you had a disagreement with your wife
I got married to the person of my father’s choice
You were sad as if I were a part of you

You bargained for me after I appeared to be one of the best
I forgot the deal while I gave my whole life to you
Dear Husband, you were the master in bed room
I took the decisions for House Loans and School Admissions
You asked me to pay heed to all and behave well in parties
I never kindle fights and taught your child virtues
You wanted me to stay young and energetic
I gave up my likings and changed my habits
You slept with many others seeking a difference
I became a loyal wife to protect your family
You asked me separation to live a life of your dreams
I became a single parent to bring up your child

You never allowed me to reach beyond your limits
Dear Boss, I took you as a challenge and outreach them
You assessed me low for the reasons I could not digest
I was praised for my looks as I discussed matters of importance
You disagreed in meetings and pulled down my morale
I found my innovations implemented by you


Oh my Son. You discard my shelter, disregard my care
I am pleased to know how independent you are
You gave me up for getting the one I dislike
I gave up myself to see you win every battle
You got married and drifted away for your own good
I searched a flat adjacent to see you every day
Your priority list never had me in it no one else though I own
I tenderly attended needs of your children
You got a family and am an additional responsibility
I considered it long before and took refuge in old age home
Your plights are countless and never have they ended
I wish my end never adds up to them 