Melancholy, Darkness, And Giving Up Poem by Mike Griffith

I am addicted to melancholy and sadness,
And I make sure to feed
My self-loathing and madness.
I am used to defeat and pain,
So I invite it in
Again and again.
I'd like to fully embrace my demon,
And run like hell
Into the wild to face it.
Problematically,
I don't think I'd defeat it.
So, it'd be the final loss
In my long string of losing.
But at least it would be over.
Been fighting so hard for so damn long,
Battling pain after pain,
persevering through heartbreak,
Woundedness, and tragedy,
Only to fall again and again.
Others see me as a person
That I do not know.
They say GOOD things and
Even GREAT things about the man
They claim me to be.
Yet as hard as I try,
And I've really tried,
I've only caught a fading,
Distant glimpse of that man,
And it truly does NOT appear
To be me.
I feel like my darkness
Has become a terminal illness,
And that perhaps it's best
To accept the story's ending,
And simply make myself comfortable
To await the inevitable end.
I do not imply suicide,
But rather to stop fighting,
And accept the disappointment
Of who I believe I am,
And just ride the waves
Into the horizon,
Alone