Lost In Winter Poem by Raven Keller

Lost In Winter

Rating: 4.5


I no longer know why I'm here
My reason long ago, perished with my hope
Maybe it's out of habit,
That I linger in this spot
Where the scent of you, still strong

I no longer know why I'm dying
My reasons long ago, perished with my cure
Hiding beneath my veil of superficial emotions
Where I can hide the scars that mutilate my body
Where I may act like I am unscathed
Where the vertigo isn't making me feel
Like jumping would end the pain

I no longer know why you're listening
I've spent too long in winter
No warmth will thaw this frozen heart
A tortured soul, lingering in purgatory
Across the wastelands I glide
An invalid longing for heaven

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Gina Onyemaechi 16 February 2006

As well as agreeing with Martha's critique, I'd also like to see more flow and continuity between lines. There's lots of feeling in this poem, Raven. Sadness, despair, angst, all of it. Make them play louder with a good tweak here and there. Best wishes, Gina.

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Martha J. Eshelman-Smith 16 February 2006

The near repetition of the first two lines of the first two stanzas works very nicely. I'd have liked to see the second line nearly repeated in the third stanza as well.

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