Like You Can Poem by Leah Ayliffe

I wish I wasn't left feeling so much
Every time you leave
Even when I feel like I'm in control
With time it becomes overwhelming, realizing you hold too much power
And I don't think you recognize just how much
How much I want to be around you.
It never hurts until I envision the truth of how unbalanced this has become

I get scared at the idea that I will never be anything more than what I already am to you
Because that used to be ok
When I never wanted anything more from you.
But though I expect nothing, I still want you more than I ever imagined wanting you.
Strange how desire crept up over me with the gorgeous unfolding of all that you are.
I would never change who you are.
That is why I stay silent.

I just want to be free.
I want to go everywhere.
I want you to see maybe we could be together and see the world
In a way that's more than what we've got going on.
Was there ever a moment you saw that kind of light in me?
I feel good with you,
We do it all so well.

I know someday soon you will be with someone else
I thought it wouldn't bother me
But I thought I wouldn't fall for you
And here I am
Sitting watching the rain fall outside over the pretty palm trees
Stirring the ocean, chaos in the deep.
Wishing I wasn't feeling so much
Just a few days after you left South Carolina
Dreaming about those lips
How I wish to be touching them, kissing them again.
Feeling safe and happy
Between you, held by you.
Teasing and playing as the day is long.
This is happiness.

I think maybe these are my only real happy times.

I could die knowing I did this to myself.
How could I be so cruel to my own heart?

I wish I could love you from afar as a best friend.
I wish I had the power and control to let it stay easy like you can.

But all I do is dream and talk about you.
I can't get past it, I can't unlove you.

I will never lie, but then again, I will never tell you.
And in that way, I have the power and control to let it stay easy
To let it stay ideal
Like you can.
I am queen of being whoever I want the world to think I am,
I can be free, I can be the wind and fire,
I can put on a show and love from afar,

Pretending it's only fun

Like you can.