Laughter Poem by Jan Oskar Hansen

Laughter.

When I wake up I see coloured worms crawling around just
inside my eyelids.When I open my eyes I see exploding stars
and green moons. I fumble switch on the bedside lamp and
life return. Beside me a woman sleeps, knows nothing of my
agony. I sit on a chair in the living room big yellow pearls of
sweat run from my brow down my stomach, disappear into
my pubic hairs as I think of all my failures and I say to myself;
“now try to remember something nice.” I close my eyes
coloured worms have gone only a forest of green reminds, of
a place to hide my everlasting shame. But I hear laughter,
whether it is of scorn or not, doesn’t matter I’m a clown and
want you to love me.