Just For Shites And Giggles Poem by Michael Walkerjohn

This broken nail, these cloven hooves
my daze begins as I hoist up
my drawers and scratch my arse
upon mind's opening porch

at first glance it seems
this world's present tense
could forever reign of sorts
then of course; there are no birds and bees

this morning's calm now turns
into thought's unconscionable scream
my jaw slams an unconscious bite
and I break off my two front fangs

Ah! damn this fuss!
do not be such the puss
after all gets said or done
it's in my consciousness that I am king!

and or prince or lord
for Christ' sakes make up that mind
mumbling verbs and spouting nouns
embellish ideas and clear my frowns

for this moment's relief
I shift my arse and put up my feet
reach down and grind my nails
upon this or that brick or stone

then, this shadow dimmed
crosses my line of sight
damn big rat rises up
giggles and smiles to my delight

with no further glance I sniff my morning's Joe…
Naw, the brew is just "Jack" enhanced
so I reach down below my seat
pull my "9" and blow that lil' critter away

Hello! I speak to that headless corpse
sho' nough' that body speaks
right the frak back at me
and into my inquiring mind it said…

Question sure this grizzly kill
fore upon this spilled blood
lives that quirky virus which
can live on for a thousand years! !

WTF! I rudely puff
this dialogue here must be real
because I am awake
and the coffee she is steaming!

I focus then and hear sirens screamin
my nosy neighbor, damn her
she panicked when she heard that shot
ratting me out to the "F"in police!

Now Lieutenant Jerry, that faire
is quite the antsy anal sort
with that tight cut fade and billy club
he just jumped right up to the porch

He asked me as I grinned and spit
why brother "D", did you fire your piece?
certainly not for fun I replied
see that fat rat carcass here and there

Well "D" he said, you know the score
within its limits, this town requires each soul
to inform your local precinct
when you intend to load up and blow

Away any pest or scary beast
which may impede your morning
coffee, tea, and biscuit high...
well damn it to hell and amore' Jerry

this day I've done gone and
"fed" the pooch on this one!
so what my man, yes I fired by gun
without hesitation and in jest and fun

After a shallow and protracted moment…
my butt flexed and tail twitched, and I
scratched the itching crack of my ah so!
Damn! I forgot I had sharpened my nails!

What the hell! glad it was not
my bald and swollen ball bag!
to lieutenant Jerry said I, let's go get high
and leave the rat's body to ponder

This morning's stunned rise
his last seconds of life and this ole' S.O.B.
who shot off his head
in merriment's haze and cynical wonder!