I'Ve Come To Understand Poem by Leria Hawkins

I’ve Come To Understand
Date: August 14,2015

After so many years,
My heart has calmed
Like the settling of quicksand
Swallowing whole, your lust soaked whispers
A sudden epiphany,
Perhaps more, a revelation
Laying bare the madness
And mysteries of your smile

It’s been a decade (and then some)
That I’ve sidestepped the broken pieces
Picked out splinters that seek to ruin me
I have dodged bullets, flying glass
Dangers…that sought to cut me without cause
There have been too many seasons
Blindly denying both truth and reason
Tortured, in my vain attempts to love you
And there have been too many failures
Tirelessly trying to decode your passion
Darkened by the cold emptiness of silence,
Drowning me in waves of loneliness and despair

Years have flown by, with so many moments,
So very many emotions and blind sentiments
Crushed in a barrage of thoughtless words
And there have been misunderstandings
Brushed off as insignificant, never to be made right
And while I sought the truth of your confessions,
Dreamt of the fire that is your kiss,
And longed for the love that you cannot give
I was held by your standards, far below the rest
My fire extinguished beneath the fury of disdain
My heart deemed unworthy of your favor

But at last, I set out on a storm-less sea
My devotion, tempered by time and torment
It seems peace does not come without a price
But I have at last accepted this hand
I acknowledge that the stars have been unkind
Allowing me to stand beneath their brilliance
Yet denying me the true meaning of their beauty
I have loved and lost, not the first, nor the last
To journey so far, with so little hope
Of finding a place called home…

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Copyright © 2015 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved