I Must Sleep For Very Long Poem by Sami Gjoka

Now I envisioned often our valley and our homes
At the bottom of the hill that has not a blade of grass
Not a plant or not a tree,
Not a single human face.
Frozen for eternity
And no future
And no past
All I see is just the ground
Dried and light
Like sand and dust.

I feel as if I am there, at the valley, staring farther
To an old cemetery on the hill
To that muddy land that stole and is feeding at my brother
And I hear a caring voice spoken softly to my ear;
There are only few trees, left, still standing in the forest,
Every day we see our graves,
Much more closer,
Much more clear.

When lying in my bed, calm and ready for my sleep
I feel floating in the air and then landing on my feet
To that land and to that dirt
To that dust and to that peace.

And there like a happy child I start with both my hands
Lifting up and pouring down the dried earth as grains of sand
Above me and all around, rising in a speedy pace
From my feet and to my knees, to my chest and to my head
Like an ancient pyramid, where I will fall asleep
To rest maybe for a while.

How could I ever know,
That returning to the dirt
To be buried deep below
Is like stretching in your bed?

I remembered long ago, having such a dreadful fear
That each ghost of man that goes to some underground merely
Came back like a scary crow and yet scary to stay near
But they had no fist to blow our gates, or voice to scream
How could we dropp their flesh, as if canned and soaked sardines?
And I know to have said to my older relatives
That if death will come for me, before they will go to sleep
Please don’t take me to that mud, burn me to the highest cliff
Of our town and let rain,
And let rain and let wind
Take me and spread me around.

That was then but this is now
I was scared to even think of the grave
Because then I was running after girls that were shining
I was far from this evening, filled with life and freed from pain
I have stood to highest branches of the tree that sucked the air
Now time has come for me to fall down
And I’m falling to my valley
So light and so naturally
This is the most usual course
Please don’t give me any casket!
No need here for any clothes
I am tired, I am sleepy.

I must sleep for very long.