I'Ll Always Regret You (Follow Up To Beast Without The Beauty) Poem by Adrian Cordova

No, that doesn't mean I regret you specifically.
I just means I regret what I did, and what I did to you, and who I was.
It was all before the one who taught me about life, and showed me what my passion is.
We all have a story that gives us a little character, we just happen to have more then others.
And while our stories are the same, what we learned was completely different.
I lived lies the whole time, I always thought you loved me, and what I did.
But what I did was only destroying you, inside and out.
I never knew what happened to you when I was f***ed up on Dreamy.
And I swear if I did know then, I would have shot myself.
Mabye you knew that, and that's why you only reveiled it to me that time.
And the only thing you ever did to me?
Love me.
That why I call myself a heartless beast.
You were my Beauty.
And I should have been dead in a ditch or worse if it weren't for you.
Then that night on the beach came.
Jeez, now that I look back, we were at the beach ALOT.
I…I…I nealy killed you that night.
It would've been clean, no finger prints, no blood, just footprints.
If you hadn't screamed that way, I would have never known what I was doing to you.
I'll always be ashamed of what I did.
And I'll understand that you only put up with me like that because of the guy I WAS.
Not who I had become.
And I'm sorry about how I took out my anger when you broke up with me.
My love, Your hate.
Your love, My hate.
But you were strong, I was a jerk.
You had a talent no one person could match.
I played some of the music you wrote, it made so much sense to both me and some others.
We all cried to the sad tone of 'You And Me Lie'
We all knew the fast pace of 'Drugged'
We all regreted the familiar tragedy in 'Tears of the Black Dahlia'
I understood the most though, and I swear one day I'll rewrite those in your name.
I'm sorry I threw them in the ocean.
I'd offer you my soul, but I've already sold it.
And I doubt you still want my heart.
But if you do, all you have to do is ask.
Metaphoricaly and literally.
If you want my love, done.
If you want my death, done.
I'll never forgive myself for the crimes I committed.
Now I recognize your beauty, innocence, genius, and good hearted natures.
I just want all of this burned away like Alie.
I'm sorry about that too by the way.
The one person you could talk to, and I let her die.
I just wish she could have been in my arms when it happened though.
Please tear me asunder, bleed me dry, shatter my glass skin, rip my throat out, just do something that will help me sleep.
I don't want you to leave too…