I Am Suicidal, But I Dont Want To Die. Poem by Ali Joanne

Do you ever wonder what it would be like
To take that knife and end it. Dead.
Does the thought even cross your mind
Because it goes round and round in my head

To take those pills, to drink that drink
For the pain it needs to ease
To tie that rope around my neck
To feel the choke and wheeze

Everyday I think these things
I don't think you understand
I don't want to die, but I don't care to live
These feelings I cant withstand

I am fighting a battle within my mind
A pathetic conundrum day to day
Everything inside is dark and empty
I am suicidal, nothing else to say

But what does suicidal mean
Will you find me on the floor
No, instead its contained and hidden
Its a pain deep down and raw.