I Am Going Nowhere Poem by Hira Akhtar

That day, I was being impatient for my prayers to be accepted and a storm of conversation with Allah (S.W.T)was going on in my mind when I was coming back from university.

A small boy, barely 10 years old, barefooted and wearing untidy clothes, was coming towards me.I knew he would ask for money but, unfortunately, I had forgotten my wallet in hostel.So, I asked him to sit infront of hostel gate and wait for me until I return and give him something.
On reaching my room, I hurried myself up as I had to leave for bus terminal as well, started stuffing my suit-case hastily and rushed over to my prayer rug and started offering my Zohar prayer.

I remember how much preoccupied I was during my prayer with the idea of that small innocent boy waiting for me outside and I was getting late."What if he thinks that I won't come and goes away? ", "What if he thinks that I lied to him? ".I was so submerged in these thoughts that I started crying during my prayer.

It hardly took 15-20 minutes and I reached the gate with my suit-case and started looking for that boy but he had gone😔
I felt sorry for being late.

All the way home I was diving into the ocean of overthinking, "What if he considers me a liar that made him to sit there and didn't come back? ", "But he should've sat there and wait for me", "May be he didn't trust me enough and thought I was fooling him", and a bundle of other baffling thoughts.

Suddenly, I realized that Allah (S.W.T)had answered me through this boy as I had been cerebrating over what was taking so long for my prayers to be accepted.
Just like that little boy who didn't wait for me and went away, we being beggars at the door of Allah (S.W.T)don't often wait for him to come and bless us with what we've asked for.
We ask once, twice, thrice and that's it.

Only I know I was in too much of a hurry that day to go to the boy and give him some money so that he could eat (that is what he wanted at that time) and only Allah(S.W.T)knows how much He Himself is in a hurry to give you.
You just have to hold on, you've to wait at the gate, wait for him to come and never think that He forgot you.As Allah (S.W.T)says,

" ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ"
"Call upon Me; I will respond to you."
Then, why would not He come to you? Trust me, He will.

Now whenever it takes a little longer for my prayers to be accepted, I just talk to Allah (S.W.T)like this,

"Allah G, I'm waiting at the gate and I'm going nowhere until you come, hold my hand and bless me with what I've asked for with all Your will.I know You Yourself are in too much of a hurry to come and evoke happiness.I'm sitting right here.I'm going nowhere.I'm going nowhere."