Her Soul Meets Her Mommy Poem by Hira Akhtar
Her Soul Meets Her Mommy
Alone and shivering
In a numbing, dead night
Deep silence, scaring
Like a monster
Her face looking flushed
with extreme fever
Like a tree,
facing the blazing fire
of cruel Sun
Bursting head,
with severe pain
Like a balloon
overfilled with
distress and misery
'Rain of tears
damping the cheeks, constantly
Wrapped her head,
in a scarf
Crossing arms
holding both shoulders
sitting in a still corner
uttering a few
quivering words
O mommy! !
Where are you?
I feel deserted
since you left
You used to call me
your delightful flower
Breeze in and catch a glimpse
of your withered flower
come and water it vigorously
with your love and affection
O mommy! !
'Take me in your shelter
save me from world's bitterness
your child is being trampled
O mommy! !
For the moment,
Drowsiness overcame her
she propped herself
against a wall
Dreaming, the procession
funeral of a corpse
laying in the casket,
Later, being propelled
towards cemetery
'All at once
A frightful jerk
arouses her
surprised and horrified
trying to know
Which place is this? ?
dark and foggy
filled with redolence
glowing scented woods
'She couldn't hear
Her beating heart
That was left
in her dead body
A spirit, she was
Soon, a sound echoes
Its purgatory daughter
The place where souls meet
Sparkles and gleams
appear in the dark
Mommy! ! she speaks blithely
Yess honey, come to me! !
Mommy spirit says devotedly
spreading her arms,
There both souls meet
Daughter to mommy
Mommy to daughter
Together forever and ever..
Extremely touchy..you crafted emotions in words with excellence: -)
thanks again for the Poet's Notes. i've left comments earlier. the poem still has some, fairly-minor, English flaws. but it is already in MyPoemList and now it shall go into my PM November showcase, not submitted yet; i've just submitted October's showcase. continue to excel in school..[you do excel, i suppose]...and to enjoy books and poetry. Thanks, Hira. bri ;)
These 2 sets of lines are my favorites: Breeze in and catch a glimpse of your withered flower come and water it vigorously with your love and affection O mommy! ! AND: Yess honey, come to me! ! Mommy spirit says devotedly spreading her arms, There both souls meet Daughter to mommy Mommy to daughter Together forever and ever................VERY NICE! ! ! ! ==================== i also especially enjoyed: Bursting head, with severe pain Like a balloon overfilled with distress and misery.........though i'm glad it wasn't MY head! - - - - - - - - - - - - Dreaming, the procession funeral of a corpse laying in the casket, ............here, laying should read lying; a lot of native-english speakers make the same mistake i believe. ============ hira, this may be to poem i like best of your poems which i've read. thanks for sharing. i'll send it to MyPoemList now. bri :)
Very emotional indeed and It has vivid imagery and makes me to think the girl who called mummy was me
U write like a prodigy.! Dis is awesome touchin n d metaphor poetic.! Imaginativ of barzakh. Where's yor mommy? Do coment my latest poem pls.
vivid imagery and deep emotion make this poem a great one. a mature write
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/23/2024 10:12:11 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Dear girl your feelings are too maturer than your age. Souls' meeting is heart-rending. You have quite nicely penned your feeling quite nicey. Well-done and keep it up