How Much More Poem by jeannie schmidt

Darkness fills this soul again. searching a way out
Is there a light at the end of this long dark road?
Afraid to close my eyes at night, afraid of what lies ahead
Afrid that one of these days I won't wake up instead
This cancer is taking it's toll, somedays it is hard to get out of bed.

Fight, is what you tell me in my sleep, sometimes it's hard to hear
No one understands unless you are in this soul
I fight everyday to get out of bed, everyday to go to work
To show the boys nothing is wrong, we must fight to stay a float.

Worn out and tired and to the doctors again, more bad news what else can lie ahead?
Will the chemo get it, is it a chance I am willing to take, Ten years of this is insane, how much harder does this life get?

I know you only put us through the trails that we must face, but death and loss, and fighting for life is about all I can take.

I know you are making me stronger for something yet to come, I need not know what that is, for it has not begun.

How much strength does one person need? I am asking of you now. is this the worse it gets or is there more to come?
I do not know how much more I can take, I am at the end of my rope, are you trying to break me? Or is this the final trail I must endure?