How Many Poker Faced Evenings Have I Stared At Poem by johannes lewinsky

How many poker faced evenings have i stared at
Wondering feeling what it is i am supposed
To wonder feel how many leaves falling
How many autumns winters gone and been

And still wondering

How to be in the face of this
This poker faced
Obduracy of an autumn evening

How face what it is
How know what i can or cannot
In the light of this

Each year that brings
Another autumn round
And each another notch
marked up against oblivion

And all that has been
All the variegated years have been
And all the faces faced

And the limbs held
And the secrets harboured
And the intimacies i will not
And all those that never did

How account for these
That came and were somehow
All brushed aside
Whilst still i am

No different from what i was
When first i stared at this
This poker faced
Obduracy of an autumn evening