Hazards Poem by Theresa Ann Moore

When I grasp the steering wheel and step on the gas pedal.
I find that driving is an experience deserving of a gold medal.
As a cautious driver, I try to obey the courteous traffic rules.
Expecting the unexpected has become one of my safety tools.

The Secretary of State’s driving manual is missing some advice.
Note the hazard list posted by other drivers to be more concise.
Many times the travel laws seem to have been rewritten by fools.
They think that disregard and perseverance ultimately overrules.

1. A red light does not mean stop if there is no visible policeman.
2. It isn’t necessary to indicate lane changes if you’re driving a van.
3. Speed limit signs do not apply to people who drive a Corvette.
4. A permit is not required if you’re a lap-sitting canine driving pet.

5. Semi-trucks must have access to four lanes when making a turn.
6. A double yellow line indicates that passing cars are of no concern.
7. Apply brakes only when close enough to read a bumper sticker.
8. If beer is disguised in a paper sack it is not an intoxicating liquor.

You may think I’m just a spoof writer striving for an amused laugh.
Hope you’re right and that these words won’t appear on my epitaph.
'Here lies a mindful driver who has departed while obeying the law.
She was hit by a speeder passing on a hill; someone she never saw.'