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Goodmorning

The plane of my life used to fly so smooth
You came aboard and the higher I flew.
You took me to places I'd never been before,
I wanted to have you till I could fly no more.
We might have just hit a turbulent cloud
But It can't shake my mind off you.

My brain is turning to stone, and thinking is getting hard.
The silence is hungry, and it gnaws at my heart.
But when I hear your 'Goodmorning! '
When I see your smile sweet,
The sun comes out from behind rain clouds pouring.
It lightens up my dark, so
Even the night burns brightly.
The world is my lamb chop,
And I'm kinda hungry.

Now, the sun soars across the waves
When before, it was drowning.
What was once a sad night
Has become a beautiful morning.
Yet wouldn't time have still trickled, had we not conversed?
The sun risen on its own accord?
Well yes, Dawn brings the morning,
But Tina

You make it Good.

Submitted: Saturday, March 23, 2013
Edited: Saturday, March 23, 2013


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Hi guys. Please feel free to give feedback on this poem, ways to improve my writing, etc. Thanks!

Comments about this poem (Screwed by Andrew Lee )

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  • Alexander Coppedge (3/31/2013 8:46:00 AM)

    You have a lot of talent Your concept is interesting work with this art alittle more it will blind you

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  • Anthony Di''anno (3/23/2013 7:19:00 AM)

    Hi Andrew,

    I enjoyed your poem. I don't see much wrong with it. The only advice I would offer is that maybe it could be improved through sticking to the plane metaphor and expanding on that. However I liked the mention of the world being your lamb chop. Was it an airline meal?
    Try to just let your words flow from your heart and it will all come together. You obviously have a talent for writing poetry. Keep at it.

  • Gajanan Mishra (3/23/2013 7:11:00 AM)

    Dawn brings the morning. True. Wonderful poem.
    I invite you to read my poems and comment.

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