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louis rams

Rookie - 457 Points (09/13/1943 / new york city)

************ free spirit**********1979


i was laying beneath a big pine tree
the birds were whistling cheerfully.
the cool gentle breeze blowing thru my hair
and i knew right there, i had not one care.

i saw a squirrel stop and look
it did'nt look like any you'd see in a book.
he was completly black and his eyes were red
that's when i realized that i was dead.
i had no form, no shape, no sound
i was above myself looking down.

Submitted: Sunday, August 30, 2009

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  • Freshman - 2,244 Points Patricia Grantham (11/8/2014 8:06:00 AM)

    A very deep and moving write. Made me sit
    up and pay attention. A black squirrel with
    red eyes. Spiritually enlightening. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Earl Clark (9/9/2010 6:39:00 PM)

    I liked the part about the strange squirrel and seeing your body on the ground. Nature distorted and out of body experience, transcending. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Scott Daniels (9/28/2009 5:20:00 PM)

    I wasn't expecting the near death experience at the end...
    Wonderful poem. You actually gave me a start. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 18,891 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (9/8/2009 6:35:00 AM)

    that's when i realized that i was dead.
    i had no form, no shape, no sound
    i was above myself looking down..oh dreadful experience and one can only have after death.... beautful words and fine expression abd being dead.. i loved it....10

    read mine samsher(sword) ... no advice please....fishing in troubled water...nothing before time (Report) Reply

  • Rookie surya . (9/7/2009 8:29:00 PM)

    bneautiful.beautiful in death.very interesting poem.
    voted10
    surya (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Christine Kerr (9/5/2009 11:18:00 PM)

    Love the surprise ending. You give a feeling of being in heaven, then find out you are. Perfect (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 48 Points Matt Mooney (9/1/2009 8:42:00 AM)

    A lovely flashback.Whatever it is is about nature and wild creatures in nature we are brought to our senses in a most profound way by the wonder of an encounter like this. We feel so connected for a few brief moments and the animal or creature from the wild seems to be equally surprised and to benefit as well from the experience.It's as if a broken circle was complete again. (Report) Reply

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