Am I broken
Going insane
Has my path been chosen
Or maybe have a broken brain
"Wasn't there a time…"
It seems you don't remember
My imagination is a crime
The memories burden gets heavier
I get these visions
That might not be there
Am I on a mission
I'm a mere being, not rare
Stuck in an ancient loop
Fortunes untold
Gone through a timeless hoop
Old memories unfold
(cont.) 3: something that happens by chance: luck 4: fortunes [plural]: the good and bad things that happen to someone 5: the future that someone or something will have
'Or maybe have a broken brain'? Try an 'I' in front of 'a'. 'It seems you don't remember My imagination is a crime'? Is THAT 1 OR 2 sentences? It means what? (cont.)
(continued) 'The memories burden gets heavier' Might you mean 'memories' burden', meaning the burden caused by 'your' memories?
I will say that every word has its purpose in my poems, so what ever image or thought you have from them are what you feel from the poem. That's what I hope my poems do, give you an image or message of your own understanding
My 'showcases' appear as one of MY poems, usually every month, but I explain in MY 'introductory poem' that I'm using others' poems. Questions?
Otha, I plan to use this poem, and 4 other ones I've especially enjoyed from new-to-me PH poets, in my upcoming July 2023 showcase
'Gone through a timeless hoop' ... I'd use 'Going', not 'Gone'. I've given this 5 stars, BUT I wish you had used punctuation, AND I hope my comments show up and are taken seriously. : ) bri
line 12: 'mere being'. ONE definition of the adjective 'mere' is 'Being nothing more than what is specified' So, 'you' are a 'mere human', a 'Human Being' [this 'being' usage [ as a noun ] differs from 'Being' [ as a verb ] in the 'mere' definition! !
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
some definitions of FORTUNE(s) 1: a very large amount of money — usually singular // 2: a great amount of money or possessions: wealth (CONT.)