Rob Hyden Poems

My hero lives in a world filled with users, losers and snakes.
My hero is a man of character and would never be a fake.
My hero stands with pride and always steps up for the weak.
My hero is understanding and hears you when you speak.
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I am the crazy person hiding in the dark, peaking through the windows and never leave a mark.
I’m hiding in the shadows and always dress in black; If you try to follow me you will never see my track.
I am the crazy person people don't acknowledge, I wish I had the dollars I would have gone to college.
Society turns its back and pushes us away; let me tell you something, we are here to stay
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I relaxed my thoughts refreshed my mood and try to clear my mind.
This is my ritual preparing for battle against the anxiety grind.
The wave of stress and the smell of panic greets me at the door.
I take a deep breath, focus my thoughts and bravely enter the store.
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A gentle wave of conscience laps against my moral sense of right.
My dark and guilty past has me searching through the night.
They see me as a quick and easy way to fuel their drug addiction.
I'm only seen as prey, not the second coming or the holy crucifixion.
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I walk the streets in my sleep late into the night, no one knows I’m not awake and I never start a fight.
I make my way to the store to fill my grocery list, I’m always calm and keep my cool I never shake my fist.
I walk the aisles and check the shelves looking for a deal, even though I’m sleeping I’m sure I never steal.
Picking through the produce looking for the best, I never get distracted and I never need to rest.
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My friends invite me out for an evening on the town.
I hesitate before I answer, sorry I have to let you down.
If I go I always I end up in dark and lonely corner.
I’m so scared with my panic, I make a better mourner.
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My quilt runs deep and my conscience is stone, my panic is burning all the way to the bone.
Fighting the battle and trying to survive, it’s becoming a challenge just staying alive.
My conscience is torn with memories of sin, it’s my inner battle I know I can’t win.
As I run from my past as fast as I can, I now fight my battles with paper and pen.
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I fight with my mind through the depths of my brain, I’m searching and searching for that unbearable pain.
I’m sad and lonely in my world of voices, attacking my sanity and removing my choices.
Why must it be a sentence of crazy, judging my fears, my phobias you just think I’m lazy
As I live in my world alone and so cold, you all think I’m crazy, that’s what I’m told.
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My anxiety starts to build my panic begins to surge, I fight like hell to beat it, my demons nasty urge
I know it’s only panic the darker side of fear, it’s only trying to warn me but I don’t like what I hear
My panic is a message my brain sends out to me, If I can restrain my fear, I know this is the key.
I tell myself be strong you have to stand and face it, no reason to be scared I know just where to place it
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I just snapped back from a three day trip I know I never cleared.Filled with sadness and depression and an unrelenting fear.
I closed the curtains, shut off the phone, made sure I locked the door.
Alone in the dark with my thoughts and worries, I huddled on the floor.
My brain is scrambled, thoughts are lost, everything seems so fast.
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