End' Poem by irena keigh

do i fear myself in a days worth nothing
can i wake every morning and live for that something
missing that one my heart tears
my world colliding with people shares
why do i feel like this
this emotion this sickness within
this temper to get rid of i dream
in the dark can someone stay with me
can someone not leave and protect me from the unseen

what have this made me
what i have caused i cannot take back
i have let myself get caught and trapped
heart beating with ever passing moment
my own heart one single person can disown it
there is nothing else i have on my mind
why cant i just leave all this behind
why do i drag myself from corner to wall
why do i leave my mind not realizing i will only fall
every second a lie in my own eyes
every minute a friendship in disguise

not one but three dozen bricks on thses shoulder
rolling on my heart dragging nonstop boulders
where is my life where is this reason
where is the point where is my treason
how much more can a life be alone
how much more can onselfs view scourne
can anyody help me can anybody take this away
why cant i be in one place happy that way forever stay

tense in every muscle
my day so slow and theirs is a bustle
life is a train that keeps on goin
every direction every moment all flowing
where is my stop where is my end
why must i stay hid under every passing trend?
can thses scars be moved can they dissapear
can someone take my hand and my past somehow clear

being scared bieng alone
bieng in a room bieng torn
afraid that with one last blink a tear will fall
but a single tear will last without a shout without a call
is there someone else
is there someone who makes them happy without a worry
is their life like a book a perfect story
the only thought is them not me
only two without the three
numbers are calling dialing
hair is up down clothes they are stylig
but why...why forget me
why does this have to be
a feelig from the start i knew
that this feeling would always be there
a feeling that i cant undo
im sorry...im so sorry to myself
for all the misery pain and mishappens that i have dealt
im sorry that i did this and i knew it would happen
but now its to late to take me from what im trapped in


im sorry dont worry somehow
this will end.........