Depersonalization Period I Poem by Annie Horrigan

I'm so blank
The puppet responds with a delay
Someone says something funny
I laugh
But it's all fake
I can feel that my eyes aren't smiling
Why does no one notice?
It feels so fake
It really is a mask
I'm covered in lies
Just drowning in them
I've faked so much
My body does it for me
I have that smile of lies
While I think
'I'm not smiling
I can't laugh
Kill me now'
It makes me feel worse
To lie
But also
When people finally feel it
There's something off about her
Now they're uncomfortable
The lie only half worked
There's something wrong
It's that I'm here
Why don't I just disappear from your world
Like I already have from my own