Crossed Wires Poem by David Lewis Paget

We’d been together for eighteen months
So I thought there was plenty of time,
We hadn’t discussed betrothal then,
But there, that isn’t a crime.
We met whenever we could back then
In our busy working days,
While you showed plenty of love to me
And I, in various ways.

So when your letter popped through my door
On that Friday afternoon,
And you sped off with a stranger in
That red and black saloon,
I frowned to open the envelope
And to read what you had said:
‘I’m sorry Tommy, I’ve called it off,
I’m going to go with Fred! ’

The news hit me like a thunderbolt
Hit right between the eyes,
I thought, ‘How long was this going on,
How long were you feeding me lies? ’
I must confess I was weaker then
And I cried a tear or two,
But nothing compared to the flood of tears
That I thought were coming to you.

I went through the stage of ‘sad’, of course,
And ‘desolate’ followed fast,
I went through the stage of grieving that
I’d lost my love at the last,
But after a day or two of that
My pride had begun to cringe,
How could she be so cold to me,
My mind cried out ‘Revenge! ’

When jealousy tugs at your coat tails
Just be sure that you get it right,
Many a time I’ve pondered this
When I’ve tossed and turned in the night,
I know I should have ignored it – ‘now’
But ‘now’ it has come too late,
I gave myself to a fury, and
My heart was riddled with hate.

I crept around to your flat one night
Got in through the laundry door,
There wasn’t a sign of you or him
You’d not been back, I was sure,
A brand new Magnum of cold Champagne
Was tucked away in your fridge,
For celebrating the fact that I
Had been the one that was ditched.

My seminal anger knew no bounds,
I carried the champagne home,
Put ant poison in a medical syringe
And injected it there, alone,
I’d dropped it back and was leaving when
His car rolled up at your door,
And you jumped out with a wave and a shout,
‘Hi, what are you looking for? ’

‘I’ve just got back from the Marketing Fair,
It’s lovely to see you, Tom,
Sorry about the rush and all
But Fred was driving us down.
I know you offered, but Fred said no,
It was better I went with him,
I’m glad you’re here, it’s good to be home,
I think we’d better go in! ’

She dropped her coat, and gave me a kiss,
And said: ‘Do you know the date?
Today is February 29
A woman can choose her mate.
And so I say, will you marry me,
I’ve waited this long to ask…’
I sat there stunned and my stomach churned
As she carefully filled my glass.