Crazy Things Happen At School Poem by Natasha Muriuki

EXT.-HALLWAY-DAY
JEZEBELLE (17, female, Blonde, short, size 4) is walking towards her group of friends including LUNA (teen age girl) URUEATHRA (teenage girl, hair in a ponytail.) LA-'A (short, loud, annoying) .
JEZEBELLE
(sad)
Guys, my mom set up another date for me. It's supposed to be someone very attractive and also athletic, but you know my crazy mom!
LUNA
(shocked)
What? !
LA-'A
Why? !
URUEATHRA
With who?
LA-'A
Is it going to be like the guy last time? With the garlic breath?
JEZEBELLE
(sarcastically)
It's the smell of nature!
LUNA
I thought that's what he said that when he passed gas?
JEZEBELLE
(sarcastically)
That's natural. Even in public. Do you remember the other one who hadn't showered for 6 days?
All girls EWWWWWW as they begin walking towards their class.
BELL RINGS.
JEZEBELLE (CONT'D)
Can you believe he tried to make me do the same?
CUT TO:
INT. CLASSROOM-MID DAY
Jezebelle, La-'a, Urueathra, TAYLOR (Nerdy, short, skinny, teenage boy) , and 18 other students.
TEACHER
The ocean! A vast of unexplored waters. People have reported seeing creatures like mermaids, the Lotan, labbus and many more in stories that are passed on for generations. What are your views on mermaids? Sea Serpents? The Lotan? What about the Labbu.
JEZEBELLE
I think mermaids really exist.
TEACHER
What proof do you have on this?
JEZEBELLE
What proof do you have that they don't exist. There is about 5 percent of the ocean that is explored. Until we explore the other 95, you cant tell us mermaids don't exist.
LA-'A
Mermaids don't exist. If they did, then don you think that they would have showed up by now?
URUEATHRA
This coming form the girl who always dressed up as Ariel for Halloween 12 years in a row.
LA-'A
Shut up Urueathra!
URUEATHRA
It's pronounced yourthra! Laaa.
LA-'A
It's LaDasha. Now shut up before I yank that ponytail.
TAYLOR
Well the Labbu is not genetically possible. It is a lion and a snake. Mammals and reptiles cant mix.
JEZEBELLE
Again,95 percent of the undiscovered waters. You can not tell me that Mermaids and the Lottan do not exist!
La-a and Urueathra continue Arguing. A fight breaks out between them and hair begins flying all over and in people's face.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT NIGHT.
Gus (male, handsome, Athletic and fit) walks in and orders a table. Jezebelle walks in moments later asking for a table.
JEZEBELLE
I'm meeting someone here and I think his name is Gus.
WAITRESS
Are you Jezebelle?
JEZEBELLE
Yea. I am.
WAITRESS
Come right this way.
Waitress leads Jezebelle to Gus's table.
GUS
You're Jezebelle right?
JEZEBELLE
Yup, that's me.
GUS
Have a seat.
WAITRESS
Are you guys ready to order?
Gus nods his head and looks at the waitress.
WAITRESS (CONT'D)
What can I get you guys today?
GUS
I will take a chocolate bomb milk shake.
JEZEBELLE
I-
GUS
She'll take a water, with lemon..and some ice.
JEZEBELLE
No, I'll ta-
GUS
She doesn't know what she wants. she'll take some water with ice and a slice of lemon.
Jezebelle rolls her eyes and looks at the waitress. She sighs and nods her head.
WAITRESS
Is that all?
GUS
Yea that will be all for now.
WAITRESS
I'll be back to take your food orders.
JEZEBELLE
You know, I can-
GUS
How old are you?
JEZEBELLE
I am 17.
GUS
I never knew you went to my school. Did you know I am the star football player. Do you know anything about football?
JEZEBELLE
Yea, I am in three of classes. I sit next to you in all of them. I love-
GUS
Of course you don't know anything about football, you're a girl.
JEZEBELLE
(irritated)
I know a lot abou-
GUS
Did you know that for the past four years I have set and broken my own record, more that twelve times in track and in football?
JEZEBELLE
Can you let me fin-
GUS
Enough about you, now on to me.
WAITRESS
Here are your drinks, are you ready to order?
GUS
Yea, I'll take a burger and french fries, with a side of wings, and she'll take a salad, no meat..
Gus turns to Jezebelle with a smile.
GUS (CONT'D)
You look like you need to lose like 10 pounds...you're welcome.
JEZEBELLE
Excuse you! Who the...
GLASSES BREAKING in the background.
JEZEBELLE (CONT'D)
Do you think you are? !
GUS
What dress size are you? Like an eight? You're not very skinny. I like my girls s-
JEZEBELLE
What? Skinny and brainless?
Well you're not a great sight to look at either. You realize, you can't judge others unless you are perfect.
GUS
Oh, but I am.. Do you not see me?
Gus points at himself and smirks.
JEZEBELLE
Yea, says the kid with teeth like a rhino, a face like a llama.
GUS
And I don't necessarily like my girlfriends brainless.. She should just know her place.
JEZEBELLE
Clearly a girl's place should be hovering over your dead body with a shovel..
Jezebelle stands up, with her drink in hand and she spills it on Gus. She the takes Gus's milk shake and also pours it over his head.
JEZEBELLE (CONT'D)
While you're cleaning yourself up, maybe you can clean up your filthy mind and mouth, and you can also pick up some brain cells you insensitive butt head.