Abigail Hauschild Poems

I don't want to live like this
I need to feel close to someone
But I can't pay the price
I'll settle for the physical
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Old habits are hard to break
Each repeated lie and every misrepresentation of my soul
Adds a bar to my cage
This cell of my own making is impossible to escape
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I've written letters to you in my mind
These letters explain everything so beautifully
Making it impossible for you to stay mad or hurt or distant
If you only read them
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What happens to love…
When a father becomes a child?
What happens to love…
When promises can't be trusted?
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I am starving for sun
Thirsting for rain
Restless for spring
Anxious for winters end
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Through this ink is the only way I know how to bleed
For you are poison coursing through my veins
And no amount of bloodletting could rid my heart of you
You are my personal brand of heroine
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Why do you store up your kindness for strangers
Merely passing through your life's stage
When I've been with you for decades
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How did my life get so claustrophobic?
I’m standing naked in a glass room but the walls are closing in
A skeleton pretending she’s alive for an audience who doesn’t care if it’s true
People see the show they want to see
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I know by all the little things
The things so mundane most people don’t notice
I know by the metaphors
How a laugh turns into a firework
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