Loraine Lotter

Rookie (South Africa)

Cinderella


If my name was Cinderella
You could be the prince
I could wear my sparkling prom dress
We could fall in love the moment our eyes meet
If my name was Cinderella

If my name was Cinderella
We could have a song
And dance in the silver moonlight
You could hold me tight and spin me in the air
If my name was Cinderella

If my name was Cinderella
You could pick me up
In your gold and diamond carriage
You could be the hero of this fairytale
And I could be the one
If my name was Cinderella

But I can’t breathe, whenever you’re with me.

Can you feel my heartbeat in my chest
It’s getting faster every second
Time slows down, you are better than the best
But would you feel the same
If my name was Cinderella

I can’t breathe
‘Cause I’m not Cinderella
Until you’re here with me
I’m not Cinderella
You touch my lips
I’m not Cinderella
Then you show me with a kiss
That I’m your Cinderella

Submitted: Thursday, September 29, 2011
Edited: Friday, September 30, 2011

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Comments about this poem (Cinderella by Loraine Lotter )

  • Rookie - 60 Points Evangeline Eva (1/4/2015 12:41:00 PM)

    Ok..this is realy realy great! Congratulations! I loved it and it remined me the feeling of being in love... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 123 Points Dipstick G (10/2/2014 10:35:00 PM)

    Wow, this is beautiful. [3 I am absolutely in love with Cinderella (in an idol sort of a way: P) , and you did her good. This is so pretty, and it feels as if you took my own thoughts and dreams out of my heart. I don't know if this is something you actually feel, or if it is a fantasy you have, but it is just so nice. [3
    10/10

    If you keep on believing,
    the dream that you wish will come true
    So dream on, Love. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 37 Points Jeremy Ryan (8/27/2014 12:01:00 AM)

    A tight story. Well written because of its sharp point! I like it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 67 Points Sharilynn Reaser (8/20/2014 3:47:00 AM)

    That's so sweet! It reminds me of what it's like to be young, going to church dances, hearing those songs that made you die/melt inside and the whole starry eyed magical experience of it and, what was for me, youthful crushes! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 39 Points Rameen Shahid (8/12/2014 6:50:00 PM)

    But I can’t breathe, whenever you’re with me.
    Can you feel my heartbeat in my chest
    It’s getting faster every second
    two different things...but overall its great! :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Joseph Sanchez (4/28/2014 11:09:00 AM)

    But I can’t breathe, whenever you’re with me.

    Can you feel my heartbeat in my chest
    It’s getting faster every second
    Time slows down, you are better than the best
    But would you feel the same
    If my name was Cinderella (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sarah Gordon (10/15/2013 2:37:00 PM)

    love it! ! ! ! ! you worked hard on it (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Holly Dvergsten (3/11/2013 11:42:00 AM)

    overall the poem is good, however the first stanza is a little rough
    HD period 4 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Angela Bahareva (2/7/2013 1:58:00 PM)

    It sounds like great lyrics to a song (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Monet Al-amin (6/7/2012 5:03:00 PM)

    Love it! Written beautifully! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Taylor Cullen (3/19/2012 7:00:00 PM)

    Love it! ! ! ! It was beautiful to read! ! ! ! (Report) Reply

Read all 11 comments »

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