Christmastime (2009) Poem by Lillian B. Rose

I was at home and safe until a friend
Caused this girl so intune with God
To invite fear and doubt to creep
Into her trusting eyes
Because she failed to understand
Good people finish last

Every year Christmastime was what she lived for
Yet for years, she let her friends dictate
The in-between times as
She withheld her opinions and criticism
In her constant search for love and acceptance

Then the sorrows grew deeper
And swallowed Christmas whole
The one she loved failed to love her back
One sorrow and breach of trust too many
Too heavy to live with - as she callapsed

So she gave up on her faith
Running the risk of her nightmares
Coming true before her very eyes
So she wrote every ache and emotion
In the verse her pen inked
On each page as her heart found expression

She separted herself from the ones
Who soiled her reputation
As she remembered a go-to guy
Asking the question
Whatever happened to him!

And that was what I keep trying to get back to
My go-to friend who hadn't been afraid
To love me back - the quiet one
The trusted one; the one who died
That's where my book came from

My quest to capture the trusted one
On paper for the world to see
I could ask why he fell into the rapids
But the only answer I can think of
Is that he figured it was the best answer
When his Love was doubting herself