Lydia Chan

Rookie (1995 / Australia)

Broken Star Poem by Lydia Chan

And everyone believed in her
Oblivious to her nightly tears
She could never see their girl
Blinded by her faults and fears

So she wished upon a broken star
That shattered every one of her dreams
Fallen, caught and lost from afar
Tonight, she murdered her self-esteem

Learned not to see the light
Consumed by the vicious lies
So she surrendered to the fight
Yet again she tries and tries

Learned to laugh through her pain
For she was so sick of crying
Now she reveled in the rain
It washed away her doubts of dying

To the heavens and the skies
I’m sorry for another broken star
Its magic was just another lie
Hope, cruelly snatched from afar

To the soul that paid the heavy price
I’m sorry for this crafting mutation
But night after night, it would never suffice
You must’ve understood the satisfaction

To the victim trapped under water
I’m sorry for drowning you in its depths
In a ruthless slaughter: but I loathed her
Please forgive me before our last breath

To the readers of this pitied story
I bid you all one final warning

Don’t be deceived by our lies and goodness
For I was never the blessed, intelligent girl
And don’t be blinded by your own loveliness
For I’m not that beautiful, caring girl

And I’m not the girl you and I wanted from me
But she is the girl I have tried to be
And I am through wearing this mask of deception

For you believe it all, but not its selfish intentions

Please help me, please help me...I pray to god for you to help me
But for the sake of your loveliness, your compassion and all that you conserve
Don’t: you are best to let me be
For I am getting all I deserve

Submitted: Saturday, May 4, 2013
Edited: Saturday, May 4, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

This isn't my best work and obviously not a really beautifully written piece, but I love it nonetheless. This poem reflects feelings buried deep, it was my therapy during a very dark time and got me through a lot. That's why I love it. It's truly directly from my heart and soul.

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