Broke His Heart Too Many Times Poem by Alyona Korovnik

Breaking His heart so many times

Stab after stab, wound after wound

Telling myself I wasn’t the one, who crucified Him,

What I didn't know living how I did

Cut through His heart deeper with every sinful thought

Turning my gaze unto the world not wanting to watch Him suffer

Not wanting to see the truth

Shutting my eyes, covering my ears

Not waiting to believe

It was I shouting Crucify Him!

Forgiving me

His loving gentle eyes filled with sadness

Tears escaping His beautiful piercing eyes

Body tortured so much blood He lost

But still not giving up for my salvation

Gaze turned to Heaven thinking only of me

Wanting only to save me

Wipe away the suffering of this earth, hold me back from evil

Shelter me from the pain

Wanting to give me eternal life not torment in the darkness pit of fire

Light never growing dim within His heart

Not wanting to accept His gift; His offer of Himself for myself

Not waiting to give up the worldly temptations

Blindly wanting what the World had to offer me

When all it has is hatred and lies

Surrounding with sin from every corner

Looking for love in all the wrong places

My life became one empty hole

Sadness and loneliness befriended me

My life had no meaning to it or so the devil wanted me to believe

My soul became lifeless; weaker and weaker

Darker and colder my life became;

Eyes no longer seeing the light; heart giving up on living

Wanting to give the battle up

Not seeing myself how God created me

In His image

Seeing a locked gate with no way out

It was too late to turn my life around

Too late for forgiveness and love

Needing a change within myself

Wanting to hear the truth

Weary of living a lie

Thirsty for love

My hunger no longer satisfied

Knowing in my heart change must come

Or forever lost my soul will be

My clock would strike 'The End'

Reality not a novel

No eternal life but death

Prayer my Heavenly Father heard

Dearest parent's prayers were answered

Knocking gently but with strength

Firmer and louder

Feeling the beating hearing the thumping of my heart

Tears of shame overtook, seeing my life with new eyes

What happened to the innocent girl I once was

Why did I turn out like this when I was raised in a Christian home

I didn't want to die like this; I wanted to live

I wanted a second chance

I couldn’t take no for an answer

No more! I made a promise

With air in my lungs; and beating in my heart

No longer will I live for this World but for God

No matter how hard this worldly battle will be

I'll stand firm in Jesus Christ

In Faith of a loving Father

Guidance from my good friend the Holy Spirit

My new home with the promise of eternal life is waiting

My citizenship is in Heaven not on Earth

A miracle of love and forgiveness saved my soul

Living this life with a new purpose

Hungry to bring a change

Wanting to shout of God’s love

No longer quiet I'll be

Jesus Christ died not just for my salvation

He died for you as well! He died for us all

He washed away our sins with His blood

Took away our pain with His wounds

What more of proof must you need

His love for us is much bigger than anything the

Devil has for us!

Time to overlook your life

Accept God’s gift of salvation

Or die and suffer forever!

Alyona Korovnik