Borrowed Poem by Alnaver Baltazar

Why is it that people would usually yearn for something that they think they need? Why is it that people think that finding what’s lacking would make them complete?

When I was a little child, my world was as small as my understanding. Everything seems to be as simple as my happiness. Freedom was as far as I can run. Forgiveness was certain as soon as I finished crying. Trust was given as soon as I laughed. And love was as gentle as my mother’s caring heart. But as I grew up… the world that I knew was far different. The complexity that the people created in the world is far beyond my understanding. Happiness is as fancy as diamonds yet, as superficial as its value. Freedom was just as far as what I know and as distant as the power I possessed. Forgiveness is certain as soon as revenge was done or
pain and hurt has been inflicted. Trust is as volatile as the wind. And love was as rough as the sea in the storm or as sour as the lemon. Everything seems to be nothing but superficial.

Despite all these, I’ve learned how to laugh and to be genuinely happy especially in simple things, or in my mistakes and my foolishness. Happiness should not be as fancy as diamonds. They can be found in simplest things. Like a walk by the bay with your love ones… Or watching the sunset bringing contrast to the sky… Or watching the stars and
be amazed of their glittering beauty or wonder that the closest glitter we are seeing on earth is eight years away from us… Or just looking at the bright full moon gently staring at the gloom… Or just sitting along the shore listening to the waves as they kissed the shore while holding the hands of that someone you love and care about… Or eating “kamote fries” on Intramuros Walls… Dreaming and talking about life with your friends…Having a good laugh at the corniest jokes… Laying quietly in your room with that special someone while listening to your favorite music… Being a child again by
playing hide and seek with your children… Being silly just to make them laugh… Or just by looking at your love ones while they are asleep and consumed by their dreams…

I learned how it is to truly understand and care. That is to understand without judging and to care without expecting. To understand by feeling what the other people feels. Or seeing how other people see things. To understand and care far beyond the pain it entails; for to truly understand and care is to set aside yourself and begin to love until you don’t feel the pain anymore.

What you know and the power you possess should not limit your freedom. For true freedom is all about doing what is right. Freedom is about proclaiming the truth. Freedom is taking a stand to what is right and is true.

Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do. It is easier to fall in love than to forgive. And to some, it’s harder to forgive the people they love than those that they don’t. Most of the time when we love, we usually expect the love we gave to return. And at times, it’s even easier for us to see the mistakes of the people we care for than those that we don’t. Forgiveness is all about letting go of the past, living in the present and looking forward to the future. The past should not be used to judge, prove or to make obvious the current mistake. Otherwise, you’ll go on a vicious cycle of blaming, bickering and finger-pointing and it will never cease. You’ll just be hurting yourself with the things that you cannot change. If you’re not going to let go, you’ll be in bondage of the past your entire life. And if you choose to live in the past, you’ll end up being bitter, angry, unhappy, miserable and dissatisfied with your life until you learn to let go and move on. Remember that all of us commit mistakes. No one is exempted regardless if they are the least person we expect to hurt us.

Trust is born out of respect, honesty and commitment to your words. However, sometimes the risk of standing by the truth is hurting someone or getting hurt in return. It’s always the consequences of being honest. But if you have truly loved, being kind to others is being honest to them.

Although the world will introduce a wrong concept of love, don’t believe it. There’s no such thing as love that feels so right and yet it’s wrong all along. Love can never be wrong. For love has never and will never be selfish. It commands respect and dignity.

Love is not just about feelings. In fact, love is a decision. Nonetheless, thinking and feeling are two different polarities. Yet, sometimes feelings overpower the rational mind. If you find yourself trapped in a forbidden love, use your mind. For the more you nurture the feelings, the more you will dream of make-believe realities. And the more you deem to think of the realization of this dream, the more you believe in something that is
superficial.

Everything in this world is borrowed. The sun… the moon… the stars… the sky… the sea… friends… spouses… children… parents… siblings… time… freedom… trust… happiness… love… and most of all … Life… They are all borrowed.

How you will spend everything that was borrowed to you is your decision.

But these things I’ve learned …

Don’t hurry growing up, for you will lose your childhood.

Don’t live in the past, for those days were gone. You can never return them back. When you live in the past, you will end up being bitter, angry, dissatisfied and unhappy. Learn to forgive, let go and move on. However, forgiveness should start by forgiving yourself first. You can not give what you do not have.

Don’t worry too much of tomorrow either, for you will lose today.

Don’t abuse your body to build wealth and lose them in the future to regain your health. For the strength you once have could have been used to love and care. Whatever is lost yesterday is already lost.

Choose to be free. Take the side of the right and the truth. Don’t be afraid, for death is our ultimate end.

Don’t love if you expect something in return. For that is not love… that is a selfish act… a need you want to be fulfilled. For a genuine love is given without any guarantee or condition. If you fell in love with someone, be gentle to yourself.

Don’t be impulsive with your decisions. Don’t let your feelings overpower your mind. For love should provide you with wisdom and strength. Don’t feign affection either, for you will cause pain. Remember that love is something that flows from within and not from without.

You see my friend, there seems to have a lot of things to do in this world. And yet, we only have little time in our lives. All we need to do is to know what is important to us and to fight for it. For in this borrowed life, what matters is not how long we lived but how much we have lived.

October 4,2007

Source:
http: //lovelifepoems.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/borrowed/