Bledded Wiss Poem by Kim Barney

What my wife said as referred to in those last two verses was absolutely the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life up to that time. I told her that it was her best one ever, and that I would never forget it. A few minutes later, I did exactly that. I couldn't remember what she had said, and I never have since. She claimed that she couldn't remember it either.

Honey, it's been a fun ride!

First 11 lines written 05 October 2016
Remainder written 09 October 2016


The Reverend William Archibald Spooner was born in London on July 22,1844. He was an albino and suffered defective eyesight, and it is thought that this caused some of his verbal confusions which were later dubbed 'spoonerisms'.
Spooner, who died on August 29,1930, was an Anglican priest, scholar and writer. He studied at New College, Oxford, before lecturing there for 60 years, in history, philosophy and divinity. 
He was apparently an amiable, kind and hospitable man, though absent-minded. He also had a keen intellect, which is where his problems began. His tongue barely kept up with his thought processes, resulting in an unintentional interchange of sounds, producing a phrase with a meaning entirely different from the one intended. That is what is now called a spoonerism.
The more agitated the good Reverend became, the more acute the manifestation of sound switching. There are a number of well substantiated oddities of a more subtle kind: 'Was it you or your brother who was killed in the Great War? ' for example.
Spooner is buried In Grasmere Cemetery in the Lake District. 

SPOONERISMS (CLAIMED TO HAVE BEEN HEARD) :

 • On meeting a widow, he remarked that it was very sad, 'her husband came to a sad end. He was eaten by missionaries.'
• At a wedding: 'It is kisstomary to cuss the bride.'
• 'Blushing crow' for 'crushing blow.'
• 'The Lord is a shoving leopard' (Loving shepherd) .
• 'A well-boiled icicle' for 'well-oiled bicycle.'
• 'I have in my bosom a half-warmed fish' (for half-formed wish) , supposedly said in a speech to Queen Victoria.
• A toast to 'our queer old dean' instead of to 'our dear old Queen.'
• Upon dropping his hat: 'Will nobody pat my hiccup? '
• Paying a visit to a college official: 'Is the bean dizzy? '
• When our boys come home from France, we will have the hags flung out.
• 'Such Bulgarians should be vanished...' (Such vulgarians should be banished) .
• Addressing farmers as 'ye noble tons of soil'.
• 'You have tasted a whole worm' (to a lazy student) .
• 'The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer.'
• And, the classic: 'Mardon me padom, you are occupewing my pie. May I sew you to another sheet? '

That is supposed to be the Reverend Spooner in the picture.