An Episode Poem by Kimberly Lindsey

Sometimes my mind is as it should be,
And others it appears to be… screwed.
I panic and can not seem to find
The strength to make it stop.

The phrases and scenarios play out,
And spin like small child’s top.
Faster and faster the thoughts come,
And I can not make them stop.

Eventually, I am a basket case,
Not knowing which way to turn.
The confusion that was bred out my despair,
Is the conclusion to… what?

I can not understand, why this happens,
Why things overwhelm me to this point.
I just want to be normal, and deal with it,
Why can’t it all just stop?

Why do I suppress and internalize,
Until my brain is overloaded and explodes?
Why do I flip the heck out?
Instead of doing what everyone else does?

Is my wiring faulty? Do I need a shrink?
Or maybe life is too hard for my troubled soul.
Perhaps there is a hidden link?
But how do I find it, before it takes its toll?

Maybe I am just a lost soul, never to be more than that.
But I refuse to believe that is all I can be,
I just want to be normal, I don't know what to do....

Am I crazy? Bi-Polar? What is the name?
Tell me please, so I don't have to feel this shame.