Allen Ginsberg Called Me Long Distance From New York Poem by Theresa Haffner

Allen Ginsberg called me long distance from New York..
It woke me from a sound sleep. Groggily I put
the receiver to my ear.
“Hello, ” I said.

“Hello, ” he said. “This is Allen Ginsberg.
I’m calling from New York.”
I thought it must be one of my friends
playing a joke on me.

Still in a fog, I said, “Oh, you
must be putting me on.”
“No, I’m not.” he said. “I AM Allen Ginsberg.
I’m calling long distance from New York.”

Gathering my wits, I said,
“Wait a minute. You SOUND like Allen
Ginsberg. Maybe you ARE Allen Ginsberg! ”
“Look, ” he said, “you’re embarrassing me
and probably yourself, also.”

His identity was established. But he wasn’t
calling for me.
He was trying to reach the woman
who had lived in the apartment
before I did, who had once been a
secretary for him in New York.

He wanted to give her complimentary tickets
to his upcoming appearance at McCabe’s,
an exclusive performance venue here in
Southern California.

She had already moved.
I didn’t know her well
and had no idea
how to contact her.

As we chatted we gradually overcame
the awkwardness of our introduction.
“I’m a transsexual, ” I told him.
“How charming, ” he said.

But no matter what I said
or how hard I tried to persuade him
I was unable to get him
to give the complimentary tickets.
to me instead.

On the night of the concert.
I called the club,
wanting to buy a ticket..

The tickets cost $62.50
at the door.
It was more money than I had,
so I was unable to attend.