Suzette Richards

Rookie - 30 Points (Cape Town, SOUTH AFRICA)

Albatross


Like an albatross,
Past clings like dross.
Round my bent neck
it hangs in check
by my golden cross.

Standards from long ago;
culture difficult to forego -
I strive to survive
just the daily jive
of struggles to and fro.

I pull out the rusty nail
of old doctrines which impale
the coffin of my life.
Objections are rife,
but my soul isn't for sale.

Submitted: Sunday, April 22, 2012
Edited: Tuesday, June 05, 2012

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

This poem was written as the epitaph to my book, Water Dance. It sums up the philosophy and the wisdom gained, as described in the said book: (www.waterdancesusbooks.webs.com)

Comments about this poem (Albatross by Suzette Richards )

  • Rookie - 30 Points Suzette Richards (6/1/2012 2:20:00 AM)

    I wrote this poem in imitation of the rap culture (the use of the word jive giving a clue to this): with a mix of the old fashioned rhyming style of poetry. The tone of the poem was meant to irritate; hence the closing lines:
    I pull out the rusty nail
    of old doctrines which impale
    the coffin of my life. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie William F Dougherty (5/31/2012 7:46:00 PM)

    Golden Rule: The Sound Must Seem an Echo to the Sense.
    Poem is trying to say something worth saying, but is hedged in by the short
    lines, which necessarily over-emphasis the rhymes.
    Solution: adapt rhyme scheme to alternative lines.
    DrBill (Report) Reply

Read all 2 comments »

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