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They all are, those bitches,
blackmailers, connivers,
nothing can wait a second longer,
tomorrow le deluge perhaps,
I swear I did not promise,
I never said that, tit for tat,
you took advantage, right,
only a woman will stoop so low,
what are you trying to do,
be a merchant, do deals,
you could have asked nicely,
I have always been an orderly, clean
and exceedingly pedantic one,
spotless, inside and out,
I would have, eventually,
gotten to it, after all it is only
papers and they don't go bad
like tomatoes or kumquats.
Yes, I realise a year is a long time
but, a year ago is when my mother,
with her cataract eyes and pacemaker
was here, snooping all over my stuff,
finding holes in my socks, infinitesimal
and not worth mentioning, and I did,
then, without a big fuss, clean the mess.
But really, I have to test drive the new Jeep,
the boys are waiting for that science session,
okay, yes it is in the Pub, it's quiet there,
and the weather will be sunny tomorrow
through midweek, shame to be sitting,
in a dark messy house, going through
what really could and should, wait a bit more.
You are not being fair, and certainly not nice,
even basic politeness would not go astray and,
it might even increase chances for.....
what do you mean by that, really, no need,
no justification that I would have given you,
to be vulgar, name-calling is a woman's weapon,
yes, and your reaction right this second is proof,
utter proof, you couldn't be civilised once now,
could you, I should have known, just like your mother,
yes Doris, that's all your father could say, washrag,
yeah? And what did you call my mother last year?
She can outcook you with her eyes closed, yeah,
she could dust the whole house while cooking up,
over and sideways, a REAL meal, from scratch,
not a TV dinner, so there. I tell you what....
so where on earth are you off to, now, to bed? !
I wish you would go into the guest room because,
yes, that's right, because if you don't I surely will,
as your bloody dog is my witness, yes YOUR dog,
eating me out of house and home, only the best,
steak left-overs for him, and what do I get?
Okay slam it one more time and you will see what,
I, who happens to run the show in this place,
will come up with then, yes I can see the earplugs,
I will be watching the movie of the year right now and,
you, yes you are most definitely not welcome.
And, in my next life I will get myself a hoarder,
just like I am. Nothing will get thrown away, EVER.
Herbert Nehrlich
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