Addicted Poem by Sylvia Dise
Addicted
I know this girl
Who always needs a pill
She doesn't move she always sits still
She walks around with her head held down
Never smiling there's always a frown
She's beautiful and bright
She needs to find the light
She's crazy and wild
Stop! You have a child
Go the other way
Today is the day
For you to say
This isn't me
I want to be free!
making a poem in mostly rhyming couplets i think hinders the poem's expression... the form needs more freedom, especially to fit with the theme about being 'free' which is the climactic exclamation at the end. i think you'll find rhyming, unless it is brilliant and unpredictable detracts from making as powerful a point as desired...but not bad...try rewriting it without end rhymes...
wow again a verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry sweet poem from my best poetry friend... like it 10/1o and you are much talented... hope your soul feels my peace dreaming thoughts tooo
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/1/2024 11:13:25 PM # 1.0.0.1119
terrific insight...keep up the good work...Jeff.