Russell Nero

Rookie - 51 Points (May 25th,1995)

3


Would you think me insane if I said I was cursed
Would you find me guilty of a crime if I said I don't know what to do
What would you say, what would you say
if I said I'm staring in the center of a black hole
What would you think if I said, I already fell in...
My mind, so troubling
I have always denounced the ability to remember everything
but the more I remember, the more I see
my life plagued by the number three
Starting with my own name that I trample in dirt
the first and last together, sound it out
now taste the middle by itself, let the realization mix in with dread
Do you know my fears
In blindness, I have repeated words to myself
I let a TV series steal my attention for 3 years
and in punishment to dig my nails into my skull
I have bled tears through my fragile retinas
for 3 years to obliterate the memory
or in some desperate vague attempt
to say Sarah the Sorceress wasn't a mistake
to somehow say Sarah my Sorceress will one day return to this loser of me
Is that why Anastasia found it hilarious and wise to entice me for 3 months
to peel me back piece by piece
slowly watching me separate from the wall I had built
to ironically keep others from mimicking Sarah
yet the fool's reward is my own
a knife in my back, unable to crawl away
my blood acting as my transferent tears
Unconsciously, do I do this to myself
creating a mirror of three to guide my entire life
for I devised a system to which my relationships
cant endure a woman named the same for the times of thrice
Do you find me crazy
Am I criminally insane
Would you find me insane if I said my life is cursed by 3
What would you think if I said I'm staring into a black hole
that I fell into 3 times before...

Submitted: Monday, July 08, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, July 09, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Based upon the movie 23 in relation to my own life

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