2 Realities. Poem by Matt Render

I live in two realities right now
And I can't tell the difference between which is which but I think it's this:

One is blue yellow azure and orange and filled with alcohol and moisturizer and freshly tanned women sun-kissed and pasty smiles and sweet coconut trees and they surround me like I'm a celebrity and we all sip and laugh and fornicate out on the beach as the waves come rolling in

The other one is the one I think is real
The one I really believe:

Where I'm living a lie
And I wake up tomorrow again
And it's a lie
And breakfast is bland
And it's burnt
And it's spoiled
And the walk is against the wind
And there's ice in every hidden crack
And my face is wet
I can't tell if it's rain or tears
Either way it is neither here nor there
And they all know
It's a lie
Its written all over
I'm supposed to stop for eggs
I steal them
I need cheese too
So I steal some
Just to let it rot
And they see me do it
But they don't make a move
Because they know it's a lie
And a beautiful brunette girl is sitting all alone
ignored me for half an hour
And the coffee is watered down
But the caffeine hits harder after 4 pm
And by the time I finish it
The sun has set
And I know I'll remember this later when I'm trying to sleep
All the lies we keep
The waiter pretends to like me
They try so hard
To keep the lie
Just for me
The people smile
Because they know
The lies we keep
We all know better
We all know better