Matt Render

I'm lucky to have
Someone I can call at night
When nothing is alright
And I don't see the light
...

The quiet of longing
Footsteps shuffling along
The streets after a hot rain
A heart that's lost it's murmur
...

It's midday outside a brothel
Pacing through the alleyway
Sunlight is cloaked in shadows
Of brick tenements
...

I'll let her borrow
That blood-stained cardigan
With Splotches of ink
Seeping through the fabric
...

Today I decided
I'd step outside
I dont know why
But I did
...

There's a single flame
That remains
Apprehensive and flailing
Through a stolid morning wind
...

With my finger on the pulse
Of holy invocations
I hear the hoarse cries
And embittered shouts
...

I've been driving this flaming hearse
All through the nighttime fog
Immersed in endless thought
And all that I've done wrong
...

Here's to trying
Here's to pretending
Here's to holding back the tears
And fighting off the years
...

In this alleyway
They'll never find me
With my teeth gleaming
A cold grin in the dark
...

Id rather be alone
Than have to deal the insufferable
Torrential downpour
Of your overbearing soul
...

Where have you been?


Walking down that old road again?
...

This is my home

Where worms fornicate
...

Listen
Listen
Listen
to the dance of oblivion
...

I remember everything

You all sat around expectantly
So sick and tired of waiting
...

Oh lord no
What have I done
But squandered it all
Oh the sky is ripping open
...

Tell me
Another story
One with a different ending
And please make me believe it
...

I live in two realities right now
And I can't tell the difference between which is which but I think it's this:

One is blue yellow azure and orange and filled with alcohol and moisturizer and freshly tanned women sun-kissed and pasty smiles and sweet coconut trees and they surround me like I'm a celebrity and we all sip and laugh and fornicate out on the beach as the waves come rolling in
...

I'm writing you this letter
Even though I know you'll never read it
There is no zip code for the dead
And God knows
...

No, please, don't.
this is exactly how it was supposed to go
Dry drunk and stuck
to that dark spot on the floor
...