(19) A Long List Of To-Do's (And A Couple Of To-Don'Ts) Poem by Amanda Lukas

My list of things to do
just seems to keep growing longer.
Keep your office clean,
make Bill's coffee stronger
take your real estate test
do a few more rep's in the gym
eat less sweets and drink
more water.
Feed both dogs at separate times,
but walk them both together.
Find the phone,
then answer the phone,
screen your calls for creditors.
Read more books,
watch less television,
get to bed at a decent hour
so you can wake up earlier,
but not too early.
Wash the car, the clothes, the hair,
and last night's eyeliner off your tired-looking eyes
so that you may run out the door
to make it to work just 5 minutes late
and make a mental note 'tomorrow, shoot for 4'
friends' birthdays February 22,23, and 24th
buy Hallmark cards
in case they actually check the backs
like they do in the commercials -
just as an added precaution.
Taxes, phone bills,
car insurance, rent.
Don't forget to water the plants
and feed the fish (too late on the fish)
make mental note to clean the tank
and find a suitable replacement
before you are discovered
and deemed the killer.
Paint the living room,
buy a new lock,
chastize the puppy for eating
your brand new Jimmy Choos.

Now do all this while patting your head
and rubbing your belly
and finishing up your
midterm paper which
is due tomorrow, of course.

Don't forget to take time to
stop and smell the roses
because I'm sure you can
fit that in.

And my friends wonder why I drink.