Helene Sawyer

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High School Hallway Blues

Tonight when I go to bed,
It will be the final end
At night is the only time I can cry
During the day,
I can only fake a small smile
Nothing is ever new
ALways wondering what it would be like to have something new
Someone new to talk to
At night it is always the same
Holding onto my only teddy bear
He cannot fix what has been done
Why can't I just have something brand new?
Someone new, like you?
Every tear that falls
Resemble thoughts I once knew
Every song I hear reminds me of all the tears
That had fallen the night before
Tonight, I will meet my final end
Ending everything I had once remembered
Smiles that I once had have faded
Reality changes everyday, from special days to stormy nights
Faking a personality on one can understand
Everytime is a new night
When the seasons change
When the temperatures drop
Knowing myself cannot be the same hearted person
My heart goes to battle with deep emotions
Causing a deep, dark bruise to remember forever

Dropping my books in the hallway,
No one bothers to help out
Being kicked just brings tears to my eyes
At night, Icry for a desperate attempt at something new
Something very different
Pencil shavings flying off the tables and desks
Everything in school,
Just at various moments reminds me of you, like always
Walking slowly and quietly down the hall,
Looking around at all the students flying by me
Wishing I had something they do,
But that would never be me
Dating back to the latest incidents we shared,
Only small laughs that just come back to me

The coldness goes against the paleness of my skin,
Looking down at the cold hard ground,
Thoughts running in and out of my mind,
Wishing I was that girl that was holding your hand
Alone with no one next to me
No one to wrap their arm around me to keep me warm
Tears start to freeze at the temperature changes.
Knowing that you cannot like someone younger,
Leaves barely on the trees,
Snow falling slowly, landing on my hair
Seeing the cloudy days, mainly make my day
Smiling at such the most happiest things,
Everything though, is just a lie

Fire dancing,
Rain falling,
Looking out the window is all I can do,
The fire in your eyes remind of what I had seen
But before, I only saw your smile, and heard the chipper laugh.
Raining down in the middle of the night,
Staying up late just watching it hit against the window
Playing the slowest of the slowest songs
I start crying at the beginning, nothing is sane
Everything is different

Going to school each day is that only time I have to think really
But being at home, alone in my room, is my escape from reality
Hallways loud and busy,
No one has time for little ol' me
Friends do not matter to me at times,
With tears building up behind my eyes,
Almost starting to cry in the meer morning before band starts
With you getting ready next to me it is sad
Every night when I go home, I pray quietly that you will just come and take me away from this dreaded place
Please save me!

Now you have heard my sad tale,
It may be false, but to me, it is just another real story,
No one understands what goes on in my mind,
Because I never let them in,
So the tale is now dead, just like my life a slowly cracking away

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