Ellie Rakita

Ellie Rakita Poems

The Best Poem Of Ellie Rakita

Traveling With The Breath

I. A boy

I breathe in loneliness…
I hold it… I feel it for a moment…
I breathe out love…
I breathe in the pain of disconnection from my loved one…
I hold it…I feel it …
…I breathe out love…
Right to the world…right to the sky… right to the face
Of my
Asian
Lover

…I am beginning to see a face of a little baby-boy,
He was just born in a large family…far, far away in Vietnam;
He is naked, unprotected and open to the skies …
He does not know yet
What’s waiting for him in this big world…
…But he knows his family loves him dearly
And whishes him well…

…I breathe in the fear of unknown…I breath out love
…I breathe in family hopes and expectations…
I breathe out love…
Right to the sun…right to the stars…
Right to the face
Of my
Beautiful
Asian
Lover…

…Now I see that little boy two years later…
He enjoys playing outside with baby pigs…
He is happy and he feels loved…
What are you dreaming of Chau baby, what are you afraid of? …
..I breathe in a fear of disapproval …
…I breathe out love…
I breath out love…I breathe out love…
Right to the sun… to the stars…
Right to the face of my Asian lover…

…Then I see a boat and a scared family with a little boy,
The youngest son of the woman’s sister…
They are going to escape from Vietnam,
where there is war, death and no future for them…
They are scared of getting lost and dying in the ocean,
As so many did before and after
On their way to being free…
But they have hope, lots of hope…
And their hope guides their ship through the storm…
They are hugging their boy; they are smiling and cheering him…
They don’t want him to feel their fear…
They are doing it all for him, so he will have a happy life
And realize his full potential;
So that he will become a rich and successful man,
With a pretty wife and kids
For all of those, who could not make it…
They want him to always feel loved...
They never let him down...

I breathe in a fear of death…I hold it…I feel it… I breathe out love…
I breathe in the pain of disconnection from the loved once…
I hold it…I feel it… I breathe out love…
I breathe in the fear of making wrong choices…
I breathe out love…I breathe out love…
Right to the sun…right to the stars
…Right to the Buda face
Of my Asian lover…

…I want him to feel loved…
I want him to make me feel loved and never let me down



***************************************************************************
II. Two Women

More and more often now I see a face of an older Asian woman,
Whom I never met…but could have, so many times…
She is cooking delicious meals in a backyard of her cozy house
in Houston…

She is growing veggies; she is saving them
For her son to try when he comes back…
She is thinking of him all the time…they are close; they a real family…
She wants him to feel loved…She is waiting for him
To come back from New York soon…

She is powerful and wise; she knows what’s best for her son,
she prays for him in the temple
and she will never allow anyone to take away her hopes
for her son’s happy future with their family

I see her face so clearly… she smiles, she talks, she looks, she loves…
and she will never be able to accept me…I was told…

********************
I breathe in discouragement of limitations… I hold it … I don’t want it…
…but it got me…and I feel it…
I hold it…
I breathe out love…
I breathe in a pain of dismissal… I hold it… I don’t want it!
I hold it…hold it…
…I embrace it…I burn it with my breath…and I breathe out…love…

I breathe in a cold darkness of no future…God! ...I slowly take it …
I melt it with my breath…
and…
I breathe out love…
..I breathe out love… I breathe out love….I breathe out love…
Right to the sun…
Right to the heart of the Asian woman …
who knows how her hopes guided a tiny ship
through the storm...She knows…
She remembers…She smiles…
I look, I smile…I breathe... She looks, She cries…I cry...
We smile...

I breathe in disconnection from my loved one… I breathe out love…
I breathe in disappointment of not feeling loved… I breathe out love…
I breathe in pain of loneliness …and I breathe out love …
Right to the sun… right to the moon…right to the planets… right to the stars! ! !
I breathe out love! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I breathe in joy… I breathe out happiness…I breathe in lightness…
I breathe out love
I breathe in last drops of pain… I breathe out forgiveness…
I breathe in hope… I breathe out peace…
I breathe in freedom… I breathe out joy…

I know my Love is close -
A grey-hair Taro reader told me this early May;
And I believe her fully…
Because I can feel it’s coming closer and closer…
I can feel its light fresh touch on my cheeks…
and I will feel loved again!

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