Amy Kerswell

Im scared to trust now.
I had my trust broken many times before.
I was left a broken girl.
I still am broken inside.
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Red deep and red angry red.
For her eyes only see the anger thats around her.
Blue for the thousands of tears cried.
Black for the despair and depression life brings her way.
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Some days I just wish.
I could run and hide.
No matter where I go.
Suicide seems my only way.
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I have bright red angry screams.
Not within the voice of me.
But in the cuts on my arms.
I cut and cut.
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Im dying inside.
Inside im lost.
Inside i feel pain.
Inside Im dead
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I never forget what happened
I'll never forget what they did.
They used rape and abuse
To have power over me.
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Anger is bubbling away at me.
Burning a whole in my heart.
Making me burn with rage.
I have good reason to be angry.
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There is noubt different than being raped
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I walk around like a zombie.
A reflection of a corpse.
Like Im in a body thats not mine.
A body depression has invaded.
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In loving memory.

Grandad was the best.
With his grey hair.
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Im lost within a world
A little world of my own.
Not quite real
Or even humane.
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So very numb inside.
I do feel.
So very empty and numb.
Will ever feel again,
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The silent screams inside
Nobody does hear
But me.
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Today I realised something.
Death can wait.
Why should I end my life?
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When I was a child you hurt me.
I was nothing but a mere girl.
I was only 5 years old.
I couldnt fight you couldnt fend you off.
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Im a person lost.
Im lost in my despair.
Lost within my fears.
As my despair deepens.
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A million tears cryed.
Still the hurt lingers on.
The greif stays with meeach day.
I miss you more each day.
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Alone I shall now walk.
All alone with nobody near.
And nobody to hear.
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I know a lady called misery.
That is me and my life.

I encountered an angel called evil.
...

I am an angel.
I am of no good.
Im an angel but more like a parasite.
I feed on your fears.
...