Amanda Austin Poems

I hate the lies and I hate all the sorrow and grief
Everytime I make up another excuse for us it breaks me deeper inside
I know I can never tell the whole truth
I know there will always be another lie
...

I don't know what to say,
the words just won't come
I don't know what to do,
I just can't seem to make up my mind
...

I feel like our memories are slipping away
I'm trying to hold on before they start to fade
I don't wanna let go of all the good in the past
I just can't believe that everything turned bad so fast
...

I'm sorry,
I don't say it and really mean it too much
I don't think and really care quite enough
I do these things, they don't seem wrong
...

It's okay, just do it...
Just another hole in the wall
Just another set of bloody knuckles
Just another question leading to an angry sigh
...

What is wrong with me
What is wrong with you
Why are you acting this way
Why am I feeling like this
...

I wake up feeling drained and restless
I lay there feeling angry yet hopeful
I wonder to myself if I enjoy it or not
I ask myself if it's worth it or not
...

I start out asking myself
Why I let you do this to me,
and I always end up answering
'Because one day I think it will be worth it'
...

Feels like I'm always watching through the window,
not from the outside in but from the inside out
I stand inside and I hate to be here, I want to be free
tired of feeling so trapped
...

You keep asking more questions knowing deep down
The answers will only break your heart more
You're unable to pull yourself away from the thought
Of my unfixable actions
...