You'Ve Got Magic! Poem by David Lewis Paget

'America - You've Got Magic! '
Ran the sign on the Glitzy Floor,
For this was the latest Reality Show
To consume consumers with awe;
Some Boffin, deep in a Think-Tank
Had been racking his brain for weeks,
And this was the format he gave them;
Home Magicians! - with tricks and treats!

The Show was into the knockout stage,
The Advertisers were rapt,
None of your Song and Dancing here,
Nobody shedding Fat,
No-one stuck in a boring House
With brains the size of a pea,
But plenty of age-old magic tricks
For the rest of the world to see.

The Judges sat in their glory
Each equipped with a magic wand,
The first of them, Benjamin Glowery
Played his part, in a deep despond,
He hated the Hatted Rabbits
And the Doves that flew over the stage,
While contestants that showed him a Card Trick
Bore the brunt of his fearful rage.

He'd wave his wand in rejection
Like thumbs down, as they did in Rome,
And depending on Betty Abullbull
He would send them all packing, home,
While Betty paraded her implants
And her elegant, coiffured hair,
She was there for the sex attraction
As there wasn't much intellect there.

The third was a known Magician
Who had fallen on harder times,
He'd taken the job for the money
He was known as 'Impeccable' Grimes,
He spent more time on his fingernails
Than watching the acts begin,
He said that he knew all the magic tricks,
That nothing was new to him!

He waited to see how Glowery went
Then voted the other way,
So often it was up to Abullbull
Whether the act would go, or stay,
The audience cheered and hooted,
The idiot audience moaned,
As long as the votes came pouring in
With the fees from the mobile phones!

When things became too restive there
The judges played their games,
They'd introduce some terrible act
But mispronounce the names,
The audience would hoot and jeer
As if the name were a fact,
So some red-faced performer
Would screw up in his Magic Act!

The last one up on the stage was weird,
A Wizard, dressed in black
A garment down to his boots, who
When they stared would stare right back.
A cloak hung loose at his shoulders
And a long, grey flowing beard,
They stumbled over his name again...
Mis... Mister... Toffee... Lees.

The crowd just roared, while he had frowned,
Said nothing in reply,
But charmed a snake with a magic flute
As if it were a toy,
Pulled out a bunch of Chrysanthemums
And watched them fill the stage,
While Glowery jumped about in his seat,
Preparing to vent his rage.

'There's nothing so great in that, ' he said,
'We want to see something new,
We want to be entertained, old man,
Is there anything you can do? '
The Wizard then waved his wand, and changed
The backdropp into stars,
And floated a foot above the stage
To the audience oohs and aahs.

Grimes had sneered, and shook his head,
'An old trick at the best!
You'll have to do better than that, old man
If I'm going to be impressed! '
Ben Glowery then had waved his wand,
To dismiss the ancient sage,
While Betty Abullbull shook her head;
The Wizard growled in rage.

He shimmered and grew in height, then raised
The Wand that he waved on high,
'You think that you're all so clever
That your world's your Reality?
You think you can mock a name that's held
In fear through the centuries...
You're going to regret you played the fool
With Mephistopheles! '

The studio sat in a bubble, floated
Out with the camera crews,
Carried the Judges, audience,
All screaming above the trees,
They're floating forever, alone in space
All praying, in Saturn's Rings,
With each one ruing the day they thought
To play with the Devil's things!

30 April 2009