You Use To Love Me Poem by Jeremy Allen

I remember when u use to love me.
So attentive when I spoke.
Like a teacher to it's pupil.
Head down to his paper, so focused writing notes.
I don't think that I can cope. Your actions, your ways.
It's like you took the house we built and set it a blaze.
I was in a daze when I was in your presence.
I loved every hour, every minute, every second.
I looked at u like you we're my blessing. No question
but now you got me second guessing.
Like a homicide detective I am on the phone waiting for your confession.
Did u do it? Did u care? U caused all of this pain to my heart.
Were u aware? All u do now is glare.
A look of remorse.
Of course I still got these feelings for you.
but for now my "boo" I have to bid u adieu.
Cause my heart can't take the thought of looking at you.
Even tho I'm calm and cool on the outside.
There's war on the inside between my love for you and my hatred for your actions.
I use work and laughter as a distraction from the madness
but sometimes I can't help the look of my demeanor to show sadness.
U live your life like nothings wrong but all I do is sit alone and play the same sad song.
I go along with the ruse when I see u saying I'm fine.
but my mind keeping replaying back to the time when u were mine.
While you were verbalizing your truth I was remembering that stoop where I first laid eyes on you.
Blue was the color of that dress as u edged closer.
I was beginning to feel stressed.
I wanted to feel your sweet caress but I know at the time we couldn't be nothing more.
I fell back cause I knew I was not like the rest.
From afar I adored u in my dreams, I wanted to explore your mind, your body, your soul.
In reality all u wanted was a man to control. In your quest for redemption.
The conversation u laid on my ears was lies.
My eyes couldn't do anything but tear up.
My mind fast forwarded to the day that really sucked.
In my cup a little gin.
That day hate was on 10.
This was the second time I lost my cool. I caught u with Ben.
But then again y get mad when I can just let u blow in the wind.
Just pretend that we didn't happen cause of soul, I'm the captain.
I can't let u snag my anchor.
If I'm caught up to long your body I'll hanker.
Cause of your actions, peace of mind is something I have to be thankful for.
I walked away from you feeling nothing.
No hope for us inside.
Now you're just another Q.R.I.T. in my mind.
A queen remembered in time.