Yardsale Poem by William L Roberts

Had a yardsale today.
At first it made me sad,
But then I had a fancy that cheered me up
And I quite enjoyed myself,
Watching our stuff walk off
With the strangers who drove up.

Later, in our living room,
We drank wine amongst what little we had left.
'There, ' you said,
'That wasn't so bad.'
It's true I'd been opposed.

'Ask me who my second grade teacher was, '
I asked.
'Who was your second grade teacher? '
'Don't know. I put her
And the rest of that loathsome pack
In some picture books. Some grandmother
Bought the whole stack.'

'Ask me about my humiliating times in the peanut league.'
'You are a nut.'
'Don't remember them. Those memories
I put inside our son's old baseball mit.
Hope they make that little kid
Wake up in a sweat.'

'Ask me about the hours I spent
Lying on my bed, listening to the Stones.'
'Well? I preferred the Beatles myself.'
'We won't be having that argument again,
I could care less. They're gone,
With the CD reissues
You said I never listened to.'

'And how about the years I spent in meetings at work?
Into those miscellaneous coffee mugs they went,
Their new owners're sure to choke.'

'Ask me what our son's first word was.'
'Well? '
'A young couple took it with that box
Of sippy cups from the attic.
She was pregnant so it'll come in handy.
Hope hearing 'No' from her first born
At every opportunity makes her happy.'

'And how about the time our daughter,
Though grounded, climbed out her bedroom window
To party with her friends?
And didn't return till the morrow? '
'How did you get rid of that one? '
'I put it in that collection of miniature horses
She discarded years ago.
It got carried off by a sweet little girl
Who'll soon be taking her parents through hell.'

'Ask me how we met.'
'You're on shaky ground now, bub.'
'It was at the Ohio State Fair,
On my Dad's company's summer outing,
Behind the wheel of a bumper car,
You wore a red top and blue jeans.
A band played '96 Tears'.
I never knew what hit me.'

'I should've suspected brain damage, ' you said,
'It's late, let's head up to bed.'
'Is that OK? Are we like married?
Must've gone with the folding table and chairs.
At least I'll know how to plea
When our anniversary
Next takes me unawares.'