Wonder.Wander.Waver Poem by Elizabeth Haasch

So here i am laying in bed again.
wishing for night to fall.
day to stop.
time to. end.
this madness. this loveliness. these feelings.
I have stopped his roller coaster
and have started my own.
I am unsure of the tears, fears,
the wandering in my thoughts.

These conversations held with myself
haven't helped my wakeful dreaming.
Is it the first time he looked at me with his wandering eyes.
Was it the words that said I've never said this to anyone before. Confusion.
Again I wonder. wander. waver. in my thoughts.
In my mass chaotic dreaming
because the stars have never been so bright.
But the sun so dull.
The smell of flowers so strong.
the color so dull.

Everything in mass confusion.
A warm shower with cold tears.
Crimson isn't the color i yearn for anymore
and i wonder how he made me into that green eyed monster.
I miss the thought of him. the passion.
the feeling comfortable enough.
The smell lingering in the air of him.
of me. of us. We became one.
so again i wonder, wander, waver.
cry in this lonlinees.
In this serenity.
in this.
mysterious train wreck.