Without Poem by Dharinee Bapat

When you first came
You taught me to color
And I soaked my unfolded paper
In a watery tinge of red
Without being warned
That it was all I had
I could not abandon it
I had to use it for many years
And I did all through my adolescence
As the paper grew older
The red deeper
Your face kept changing
But you never ceased to charm
You kept cultivating that red
Like the sun over a poppy field

You changed forms like a god
And you shined through
Your brown brown eyes
Lifted me with that smile
Chased me and accompanied
The murmur of my heart
Singing all those love songs.
I was just a minuscule creature
Walking along your broad chest
Listening to the echo of your heart beat
Tracing you, defining you
You were the charmer
You were that red I never let go
The visitor of my every cell
I felt your perpetual grip
Along my breath
I grew up waiting for the day
I meet you

The street I live on
Is full of trampled blossom
But it does not deter
The trees from giving
Wish I could be as determined
As them, as strong and deep rooted
Pray tell me how could I forgive you
If you walked a thousand times by
Not noticing the flowers you crushed?
How do I know you have a beating heart?
You are vanishing slowly
You are becoming transparent
In this now empty space
You are losing your vigor
Your eyes don’t see me
But just another woman
And my words are now to you
Impractical fancies
You walk ahead crushing mercilessly
Teaching me the practicalities and realities
And what choice do I have left
But to succumb to this attack?
I go ahead and kill my part of you
Killing your part of me
You are becoming transparent
Losing your vigor prince
You are dying, vanishing
And I wait to collect the remains
See if I can
without.